


Memory

by AmyBC



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:24:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8231345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyBC/pseuds/AmyBC
Summary: After Castiel's explosion, Dean thought Cas was dead. He missed Cas so much.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The time set of this writing is right after Supernatural season 7 episode 3 . This is my first work. Hope you will like it. Thank you.

Boby and Sam went out to hunt. There is only Dean himself sitting on the couch because of the damn plasterboard on his leg. He can’t call Cas to heal him because Cas has gone for good. What he can do now is just sitting tight and watching TV. Brokeback Mountain is on. He starts to remind of the happy and sad moments he had with Cas, the best friend he has ever had, maybe more than that, more like a brother or a lover.

You are the first angel I have met. When I say angel I mean both literally and emotionally. I didn’t believe in God, especially when I had seen so many monsters that killed innocent people. If there is God, why would he allow all this to happen? I didn’t believe in angels, either. For the first time, I thought you were joking. I just came back from hell, I deserved better. Then you said I am special. That’s why you brought me back. How was it possible?  
Once I took you to a stripper club, you seemed not interested. I thought maybe you didn’t like girls or maybe you just didn’t have that kind of emotion because you are what you are. Maybe I had the chance. One day I saw you watch porn. After that, you kissed a female demon right in front of me. That was awkward. My heart fell apart inside. I asked you what was that supposed to mean. You told me that was nothing, with no emotional facial appearance, and you just learned it from the pizza delivery guy. What was I supposed to think? You were learning how to be more like a human? Why didn’t you try me? Next time, I should get you gay porn.  
Sometimes, you were annoying. I said you were such a pain in my ass. Obviously, you misunderstood the meaning, and said, ‘I am not in your ass.’ Ok, that was definitely awkward. Boby and Sam were still at presence! This kind of stuff should be talked in private! Privacy, mate! (By the way, that’s not the position.)  
Almost every time I called you, you showed up as soon as possible. You have saved my life so many times. Without you, I have already died long before.  
We were friends and more than that. When you were in trouble with your fight in the heaven, why didn’t you turn to me for help? Instead, you chose to work with the demon. I may be only a human. But you know me; I will find a way to help you, a safer way. You knew demons. They were evil. After all these years, you should know very clearly that there is no good end if you work with them. Why didn’t you tell me about that? Were you afraid that I would be disappointed? Of course I was disappointed. But, I would stop you before it was too late.  
You said you were sorry. I forgive you. But everything was too late. You were gone. You didn’t come back as you did last time. All I have got from you was your cloak. I didn’t even get a chance to say that I love you.  
You said that I taught you freedom, and how to fight against your fate. I regret it. I hope it never happened. Without it, you may still listen to God’s order and don’t have your own thoughts, but at least you are still alive. You are the one who taught me how to love. All I had before was loyalty. Be loyal to my father and my family. My father never taught me love. Instead, he taught me how to use a gun. My mother might teach me love, but she died when I was little. Having been through events together, I trust you, rely on you and love you. At some moments, I really thought you were cute. 

Don’t know when, Dean puts Cas’s cloak on his shoulder and some water starts to drop on it.


End file.
